A Couple Political Jokes

From the USSR:
It seems that once upon a time Stalin, Khrushchev and Brezhnev were all traveling together on this train from Moscow to Vladivostok when, at one point, the engines stuttered and the train came grinding to a halt.

Two hours later, nothing more had happened; the train was still stopped. Stalin got up. "I'll take care of this." He went out and had all of the engineers and train-workers shot. He came back into the compartment and sat back down. "That should take care of it."

Two more hours passed; the train has not moved. Khrushchev got up. "I'll take care of this." He went out, found a few engineers hiding in the rear of the train, and, after a while, managed to persuade them to start working on the train again. He came back into the compartment and sat down. "That should take care of it."

Ten minutes later there was this loud groaning noise from the engines; the train lurched forward and then came to a halt a few moments later.

Nothing more happened for about an hour. Then Brezhnev got up, drew the blinds, and sat down.

"Now. Train is moving."

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

Closer to home, depending on where you live:

Reagan, Clinton and George W. Bush were all stuck in house in Kansas during a tornado warning. One tornado approached very close to the house. Reagan stood up and said, "I'll handle this." He went to the window and yelled at the tornado, calling it an evil empire. The tornado passed by the house. Reagan sat down and said, "I made it go away."

Soon another tornado was reported in the area. Clinton called up Fema and laid up plans to help out anyone hurt by the tornado. He also invited a young girl named Dorothy to seek shelter with him in the cellar.

Shortly thereafter another tornado was sighted heading right for their house. All could see it right out the window bearing down on them. George W. Bush stood up and said, "I'll fix this." And he went over to the window and pulled down the shade.

 [Courtesy Mark Hoolihan and the Hoolinet (www.hoolinet.com)
 Copyright 2006 Boniface Bugle Productions. All Rights Absurd.]