- A fly flew into a cows ear and wound up in the milk pail. In one ear and out the udder.
- What do you call Seagulls that fly over the bay?
Bagels
- A lawyer was talking to his client.
"I've got good news, and I've got bad news, what do you want to hear first?"
"Tell me the bad news," said the con.
"Bad news is, the judge is going to give you the chair."
"That IS bad news. What's the good news?"
"Good news is, I'm fucking my secretary and my wife doesn't know anything about it."
- "Waitress! This coffee tastes like mud!"
"That's cause it's fresh ground."
- What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
- Which one doesn't belong?
Tuna, lobster, crab, Taiwanese guy run over by a truck
Tuna. The rest are crustaceans.
- What do you do with an elephant with three balls?
Walk him and pitch to the rhinoceros.
- A private tutor is one who never farts in public.
- What does a lawyer use for birth control?
His personality.
- Where did the Polish kings keep their armies?
In their sleevies.
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